Hallowe’en Gurus

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Editor’s Editorial (Who Else Would Write An Editorial, Prabhu?):

Dressing Up Guru …and the Dangers of Premature Acceptance of the Symbols of a Paramhamsa

Part One:
Hallowe’en Gurus

Numerous untoward disasters have befallen many of those who have prematurely adopted the very symbols which should merit the wearer the highest platform of worship. These sacred emblems such as keshri-ranga-vasa (holy saffron cloth), tri-danda (penitent staff), asana (sacred seat of Vyasa) and symbols of worship like the chamara fan, pushpa-mala (flower garland, etc.) should be reserved for those who have achieved the highest state of Krishna consciousness. Worship of an exalted self-realized sage is wonderfully beneficial, but worship of an ordinary man leads to but more entanglement.

The final knell of degradation of yet another fallen “guru” has hit the internet headlines recently. Once again for the umpteenth time we poor onlookers have been forced to notice the pitiable state to which another peacock-feather guru has fallen. How many times can a neighbor dump his garbage and sewage in your yard while you politely pretend not to notice without speaking out? Untreated waste breeds disease, and the only means to combat immorality from whatever sphere is by preaching the message of the Supreme Absolute Truth as found plainly in the pages of Bhagavad Gita As It Is. Sure, fallen “gurus” blooped “acharyas” and “devotees” in Maya can perhaps be rectified (if the requisite effort is made at atonement). And it goes without saying that becoming a big bag of wind like some popped hot air balloon is not necessarily the qualification for becoming a world acharya. Those who knew Shrila Prabhupada were shocked that a man of his might and power could be so sincerely humble before God. But then, our worshipable master never compromised in his spreading of Krishna consciousness, as we do. As far as others I have seen in ashrams, maths, etc., forget it. None of them could hold a candle to Shrila Prabhupada. The message of the way, the road, the stars, and the cosmos was this: When you’ve met Shrila Prabhupada, the search ends here.

Sure, whatever service has been done by the blooped bhakta bears him eternal benefit. But what becomes of the disciples who were told to take shelter of one of these dozens of imperfect “gurus”?

Since the time of Vishwamitra who was seduced by Menaka or since the time of Chota Haridas who lost it to a band of gypsies, many have hit rough waters on the lonely trail to transcendence.

The rewards of transcendence is a trip out of this material world. Can the disciples of blooped “gurus” become liberated? Sure, as long as they agree to continue following Shrila Prabhupada’s divine wishes for all his children whom he loves so much. Prabhupada did not stop loving us when Krishna called him back to home, back to Godhead. Neither should we act in such a way that we force him to come back to try to rescue us for the ten millionth countless time. Our job is to go to him, and only a rascal and a fool could think that as vice versa.

In this topsy-turvy world the ego identity of one who is embroiled in Maya is such that one wants to pretend to hold more power and authority than he deserves. In the ancient Bhagavat, this was prescribed as a disorder called KPS, or “King Paundraka syndrome”. (Got you on that, Prabhuji.) But the irony of the situation is that a guru is one who is capable of getting the poor disciple freed from the bonds of every mayic disorder beginning and ending with sex life. That kami who ascends the Vyasa Asana due to improper desires only proves to ill serve the fools who call themselves his “disciples.” Back in the sixties and seventies we disciples of Shrila Prabhupada watched as one Hindu swami or Eastern fakir fell away due to sexual mischief. In reality, only Shrila Prabhupada held firm against the backdrop of all the posers of his day.

The entity’s disease of enviousness of God—even from those who claim themselves to be open portals to God’s kingdom—is another trick of Maya. The dangers of falling repeatedly into the ocean of grief that is samsara due to material affection is very real. As if this isn’t bad enough, there are foolish so-called “authorities” who seem to believe that if man’s body is too old, useless and fat for anything else but lazing about in a semi-liquid state of impotence, then that obese body should be handed a danda, dressed in saffron and rubber stamped “guru”. Just as a dog jumps from his seat to chew upon a bone, so do materialists in the dress of gurus share the same affection for sense objects as do their karmi counterparts. Except that karmis are a bit more frank and upfront about their weaknesses than we who must pretend that impure images never cross our minds.

A child does not become a hobgoblin on Halloween by putting on a mask any more than three meters of keshri-ranga vastra can turn an ordinary man into a guru. As the niti-shastras (common sense) remind us, when a man becomes spent, he behaves like a pious and renounced brahmachary.” Until, that is, he runs into this snake oil made from rhinoceros dung and sold by one Eastern snake charmer named Swami Viagrananda. The mystic restorative for when the “maharaja’s” fifth limb wilts is a hopeless jaunt into the past that proves the dog never really gave up his taste for the chewed bone. But gurus who allow themselves to become pets of rich disciples can only be expected to act like dogs. No surprises.

Shrila Prabhupada once told the story about camping in a Delhi dharmshala. There a group of men was discussing that day’s news over the daily paper. This mundane news, Shrila Prabhupada used to remind us, consists only of recycled birth, disease, old age and death. Although there is nothing wrong with a passive study of world events, one shouldn’t become too attached to newspapers, either. Today gossip has even replaced news in newspapers, and journalism has reached all-time lows. Besides, sannyasis expressly refrain from mundane gossip or gramiya-shastra. So there in the dharmshala was a saffron-attired sannyasi discussing the newspaper with these karmis. Each one spoke authoritatively as though the state of the world’s affairs situation rested upon his opinions. “That ‘sadhu’ was just an ordinary man in the dress of a renunciate,” Shrila Prabhupada declared. “Our devotees must not be like that.”

The need to demand a degree of worship to which a hopelessly conditional living entity is actually not entitled, is an unmitigated error in personal self-judgment. That man who claims to be guru while in fact swirling in the whirlpool of the ocean of material attachment only serves to mislead all those who misplaced their faith in him. If the abundant shastric admonitions against propping oneself up with a show of renunciation are not stern enough admonitions, then the miserable fates that have befallen many “peacock swamis” should be. A genuine pure devotee thinks himself only as the servant of the servant of his spiritual master. And only a pure devotee in line with each and every one of the great and revered acharyas of the eternal Brahma-Madhva-Gaudiya Sampradaya can truly represent Shri Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasadeva, the compiler of the shastras and literary incarnation of God. Only if one is truly pure in each thought, word and deed should he dare to place his derriere upon the sacred seat of the Guru Maharaja. Those who can truly represent Vyasa are rare in this world indeed. An honest householder is better than a saffron bhogi whose show of renunciation is meant only to please his own stomach and genitals. The icing on the cake of the “good old boy” network in the halls of the unqualified gurus takes the same 180 degree turn as did Indra, the King of Heaven, when he was sent to the body of a hog by the curse of Brihaspati, priest of Swarga.

The Cure for Bloated Bellies, Bowels and Egos

Unfocused and blurred attempts at seeing one’s own reflection in a saffron-hued looking glass can result in methane-gas bloated expansions of the false ego’s tightly bound knot. Any self-respecting redneck knows the knot used to “hog-tie” pigs at the slaughter season grows tighter as the unfortunate beast struggles to free itself. Remember that when Indradeva himself became a hog, he mistook barnyard sense gratification for pleasure. Indeed, sense gratification could not be mistaken as true pleasure. Real bliss can only be found in this Age of Kali by those who chant like a child crying for its mother the Hare Krishna mahamantra:

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.

As ordered by our Lord Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu in His Shri Shikshastaka, verse one:

chaitodarpana marjanam bhava mahadavagni nirvapanam
shreya-kairava chandrika-vitaranam vidya-vadhu jivanam

anandambuddhi vardhanam prati-pradam purnamrita ashvadanam
atma-snapanam param viyajate shri krishna sankirtanam

In the present Kali Yuga, these divine instructions, which have come down to us from the highest level, the Supreme Absolute Truth Himself in the form of Shri Chaitanya, must be taken to heart if we value our eternal well-being. In this regard, we cannot mince words. As over and over again explained by Shrila Prabhupada, Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is none other than Krishna Himself in the dress of His Own dearest devotee. Since the Holy Name of God is non-different from Krishna, it is understood that as long as the members of ISKCON can continue the sankirtan movement exactly as introduced by Shrila Prabhupada to the West, Lord Chaitanya will continue to bless the world. Taking shelter of His Holy Name is a must if we are to win His causeless mercy in this lifetime.

Worship of the Lord through singing His holy name is common to many religious teachings. Even Guru Nanak advised his Sikhs (lit. “shishyas”), that “the holy names of Hari and Rama alone are the boat across the ocean of this world.” In fact, according to our Godbrother Santosh Das, now a professor and author, in his article “Historical Meeting At Puri” which appeared in a popular Sikh magazine some decades ago, Guru Nanak learned the message of sankirtan from none other than our Mahaprabhu Himself.

Lord Chaitanya’s eightfold instructions are in fact the basis for everything Shrila Prabhupada wrote, spoke or did. As the representative of Lord Chaitanya and carrier of the lamp of Mahaprabhu to illuminate the Western World, Shrila Prabhupada brought Lord Chaitanya’s message West for fools and rascals like us who were helplessly floundering in the cesspool pit of mleccha-dom, or life devoid of Krishna consciousness.

I’ve heard it spoken from authority that Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu knew all too well the fallen state of the people in this dreaded Kali’s Age. Of course this is an obvious statement, but one that might be overlooked. Hence, out of supreme compassion for us who are lost in the toilet flush of modern “civilization”, Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu condensed the essence of all that is worth knowing into eight verses. And then, a mere few centuries later, He sent Shrila Prabhupada to us to show us through his Bhaktivedanta commentaries the many, many volumes of weighty meaning carried by the Shri Shikastaka, the very words of the Almighty Godhead Himself. Indeed Shrila Prabhupada’s great accomplishments, if taken separately, could each be measured against the life work of any man history deems as great. He wrote dozens of holy law books, opened hundreds of Krishna centers, and saved millions of souls. Yet whatever His Divine Grace did can be seen as an expansion of Lord Chaitanya’s verses, the “Eight Holy Teachings.”

King of Heaven, King of Pigs, King of Thrones

Again, back to the plight of Swargaraja Indradeva, who was cursed to become a pig, the good news is that the King of Heaven was eventually rescued from his plight by Lord Brahma. Devashreshta, “leader of the demigods,” Brahma himself is a pure devotee of Lord Krishna, and he is the worshipful adi-guru in our most holy Brahma-Madhva-Gaudiya sampradaya. He is the venerable author of Brahma Samhita, a text that sent our Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu into the deepest ecstasy, and which has been given to the English world by none other than our most revered parama-guru Shrila Shri Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Goswami Maharaja. It was composed upon a four-peaked hill in Vrajadhama, where Lord Brahma lives as the Hill Under the Feet of Shri Radha.

In Vrindavana, his tears of love for Shri Krishna have filled the Brahma Kunda. Lord Brahma serves the Supreme Lord Narayana by acting as the divine creative force throughout the entire Universe; hence, he is often referred to as the “creator.” He is the revealer of the Vedas to the Universe and mystic power behind the movements of the planets. As our Sampradaya’s adi-guru, he is our worshipful master and divine grandfather. Just as Brahma prays govindam adi-purusham tamaham bhajami, so we pray for the blessings of Lord Brahma, the most powerful pure devotee in the universe and thank him for always showering his blessings upon us through our own Shrila Prabhupada.

It took Lord Brahma, who creates the entire Universe, to rescue Swargaraja, the King of Heaven, Indradeva, just as it took the mercy of the world acharya Shrila Prabhupada to rescue us from our destinies into the bodies of dogs and hogs. As the most recent acharya in the Brahma-Madhva-Gaudiya Sampradaya, Shrila Prabhupada is also none other than Lord Brahma’s direct representative. Understanding these multi-faceted aspects of our Acharyadeva Shrila Prabhupada helps us to see how truly great a spiritual master has come to take us back to home back to Godhead. So it took the mercy of Lord Brahma to release King Indra from his plight as a pig.

Krishna Consciousness is Each Person’s Birthright

I often remember that after darshan with Shrila Prabhupada, how devotees would emerge mesmerized by his love, his charm and his wit. Yet when discussing Prabhupada—and many will recall this to be true—each different person saw some different aspect of the multi-faceted pure devotee who is Shrila Prabhupada. In this way, he built a personal relationship with each disciple with the sole intent of dragging each one back to home back to Godhead. Thus it is with a heavy heart that this fallen soul sees those who mistakenly think of themselves as paramhamsas to mislead other souls who have the birthright of Krishna consciousness.

Today, we continue to pray to Shrila Prabhupada as the savior of the Western world, to continue blessing us with Shri Krishna’s mercy. By his grace we have been delivered from the sewage of mish-mashed impersonalism and lifted, as it were, onto a lake of pure nectar. Simply by stating with devotion nirvishesha sunyavadi paschatya desha tarine our prayers are answered to understand our personal and unique relationships with the Gopala of Vrajabhumi, whose flute enchants the hearts of the gopis.

Indeed merely rescuing one soul from the dark well of miserable sense gratification takes a Herculean effort. If this life is a gamble, then Shrila Prabhupada carried for us four aces and a deuce in a game wherein deuces are wild. Our Guru Maharaja was undefeatable in anybody’s game; he always came out on top. He was right at home all over the world, he took on all comers, he defeated every mayavadi or impersonal argument that ever came his way in two sentences or less. Following the pure devotee is the path to pure happiness and transcendental bliss. Even blindly following the pure devotee is better than a show of renunciation and false perfection.

And donning the garments of renunciation can only make the matter worse for one whose mind is already hopelessly mired in sensual non-fulfillment. While claiming to be in a state that is supposedly transcendental to bodily enjoyment, while fondly lamenting for moments of unstoppable lust can only make for a wolf in sheep’s clothing. King Rishabhadeva, the incarnation of Lord Narayana, taught his one hundred sons that sense pleasures are freely available to hogs and dogs. But those who dress as guru should not act as dogs.

“All is karma,” folks like to say, borrowing a word from Sanskrit without understanding its true implications or meaning. The real Sanskrit expression for that sudden handshake with an unwelcome fate is rather vikarma-phal, lit. “the fruits of past misdeeds.” That man or woman who has not atoned for past sins by asking for the forgiveness of Krishna through the grace of guru, can only feign renunciation. No samsari living in constant anxiety and fear of past sinful reactions can be a true guru. He will only serve to mislead his “disciples” and lead them all to the hell known as Andhatamishra where there is nothing but pitch dark expanding in all directions. Such is the fate of the disciple who neglects the bona fide guru.

He who wishes to escape drowning in the riptide of his own self-created karmic currents must surrender to the golden lotus feet of the pure devotee, who lives in his teachings. Whether you find Shrila Prabhupada in his Bhagavad Gita As It Is sharing aeons of hard Vedic common sense, or find him dancing tearfully with Shri Mahaprabhu in his Chaitanya Charitamrita, if you surrender unto his golden lotus feet, then you’ve found the only way out of this dark and cold material universe. He is the full, never-waning Moon on a cloudless night. As devotees, he taught us to rejoice in the Holy Name of the Lord, to always chant this mantra:

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.

When Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu ordered that “There is no other way” but the Holy Name, He wasn’t pulling punches. It’s either Krishna consciousness or nothing at all. This is the main point of surrender as a genuine disciple. Neither could any genuine disciple ever enjoy inflicting pain upon his guide and guru. True pure devotees behave not like pigs, but impeccably, like Shrila Prabhupada whose divine example can be disputed by no one and whose example, though simple, is so difficult so as to appear unattainable for the struggling devotee.

Tasting the nectar of Krishna consciousness means accepting the undying message of the efficacy of hari nama from the lotus lips of a pure devotee of the Supreme Personality of Godhead Shri Shri Radha-Krishna. And, Godbrothers and Godsisters, that pure devotee has not left us. The living guru lives in his books, his eternal message and in the great footprints he left on the world. Now all we have to do is continue following in his lotus footprints.

A devotee once asked Shrila Prabhupada if there was really an ocean of nectar somewhere. “Catch hold of my dhoti and I’ll drown you in it!” echoed the response. This message seemed to echo across all limitations of time, for the acharya speaks one truth for eternity. Krishna consciousness, then as now as forevermore, is the only safe pathway out of this material world. Over the years we have seen practically that even amongst highly advanced yogis, renounced swamis and initiating spiritual masters from all bona fide sampradayas, Shrila Prabhupada is a very, very rare soul revered by all mystics. His glories are recited by the devatas themselves in Swarga. It was none other than Shrila Prabhupada who planted the seed to benefit the Earth in the grandest and noblest fashion for the next 10,000 years. That is why throughout the next Golden Age of Kali Yuga, history will credit Shrila Prabhupada alone for bringing West the great mantra for mass social liberation,

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.

Whereas ISKCON prospered during the dozen years of its direct guidance under one qualified guru, Shrila Prabhupada, the influence of ISKCON has waned considerably despite the rubber stamping of hundreds of remarkably unqualified so-called “gurus”, while with this shift in emphasis politics soon replaced the emphasis on sankirtan. Soon, the holy names no longer echoed through the streets and lanes of every city on Earth. And thus we return once again to the subject of this article. We are not interested in specifics nor are we interested in crucifying any particular poser guru. There are many sites and printed media to do this, and they are all in bad form according to Shrila Prabhupada’s advice to “call a materialist a ‘rascal’ a thousand times, but never in print.” The falldowns and failures of ISKCON’s many paper leaders have been narrated by dozens of “reform groups”, newspapers, hardback best sellers, TV interviews and even college courses. As Prabhupada used to advise, “Ink stains on a white kurta are noticed by everybody.”

Pavan’s Press is concerned only with the progress of the Hare Krishna movement as it was intended by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. To push on this movement, we must not behave in such a fashion that we become ridiculed as subjects in gossip magazines, even if we try to temporarily hide behind the old dictum that, “Oh well, any publicity is good publicity.” We understand that it will serve no good purpose to go over any particularly tantalizing in-house headlines that have fed the scandal-mongers their desired fodder.

The ultimate decision regarding a disciple’s liberation or a demon’s condemnation rests with Shri Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Yet, as one poser guru falls after another, certain events seem to repeat ad infinitum. Even casual observation reveals a cycle of events, a swirling whirlpool of unwelcomed karma, which like a Ferris Wheel discharges all those who are not seat-belted in with the protection of true renunciation.

Like the primordial soup of atheistic scientists, bad karma is an oil slick of filthy muck, and a very slippery one. Once having fallen in it, extraction becomes nearly impossible as the goo of sin chokes our very lungs. Should we just continue enjoying ourselves like hogs, waiting for some other pure devotee to appear in the future? What are the odds? Very slim at best indeed. It is a disaster far greater than the Exxon Valdez incident for a conditioned, body-conscious man to promote himself to the status of Vyasa by accepting his sacred seat though he is wholly unprepared to do so. Unless one’s mind rests forever upon the lotus feet of his guru whom he serves with every thought, word or deed, acceptance of the position of acharya will devastate an ordinary man. As Prabhupada showed us, being a genuine spiritual master is not for the faint of heart.

The usurping of the gadi or sacred seat of the acharya is no substitute for the genuine abilities displayed by a bona fide guru of injecting knowledge within the heart of his humble devotee-servant through the power of the holy name. False renunciation acts as a wall that blocks the transmission of real knowledge to the innocent. Those who enjoy free foot massages, unlimited travel, complimentary laundry service and paid vacations in exchange for Oscar-quality show-bottle renunciation may find themselves bankrupt when pay-back time arrives. As the Buddhists say, what has a front has a back. The backside of premature acceptance of excessive worship in the spiritual master’s ashram itself may be too bitter a pill for even the grandest optimists amongst us to swallow.

Temptation’s hand is full of tricks,
It stretches far to lunatics
Who grasp it quick and feel the pain,
But never think not to grab again.
O Master!
Having failed to surrender unto your lotus feet I am lost.

-Patita Pavana das Adhikary

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